by Mary Pope-Handy | Feb 24, 2012 | Alienation & Belonging, Parish Life, Spirituality
In Silicon Valley, there are so many opportunities to attend Mass that it’s very easy to drift from Mass to Mass and yet never feel a sense of belonging to the particular group with whom you are worshiping. This is a large metropolitan area. What can you do to forge a sense of belonging? It will take a little effort, but it’s well worth it.
Just like any other community, such as a neighborhood or work environment, relationships with people don’t just happen. Here are a few tips for Catholics wanting to feel more “at home” in their parish community – especially for those who’ve just moved to the South Bay.
- Find your best fit. Initially, you may do some “parish shopping” to find a community that feels most comfortable to you and your own spirituality. Here we have Mass and community in many languages, for instance. Seek out where you will be able to thrive and give. It’s ideal if you don’t have to travel far but no matter what, put some intentionality into finding the match and then decide to become an active member of that parish, attending Mass and functions there frequently.
- Be a regular. Try to go to the same Mass each week, make a point of meeting people (and write their names down if you want to). When you begin to call people by name, it will do a lot to increase both your and their sense of belonging! (Many Catholics in our diocese only go to Mass once a month. To feel that sense of being a part of the community, I encourage you to go weekly. In our hectic lives it is a struggle sometimes but well worth it on many levels, for many reasons.)
- Don’t pray & run. Ever notice how many people are present when Mass begins, at the homily, and after communion? Some folks run in after it starts and run out before it’s over. That’s a poor idea for many reasons, but one of them is that it makes a sense of belonging hard to achieve. Arrive a little early, say hello to a few people. Linger after, especially if there are refreshments which are there to encourage community building. Friendships take time – to feel that sense of belonging, you will need to slow down a little and meet people and cultivate friendships.
- Volunteer, join a group, get involved. If you can volunteer, you will meet people quickly. Not much time? Become a greeter. You may only need to be at the church 15 minutes before and after Mass, so this is easy if you are alone especially. Most parishes want someone at every door to welcome people to Mass. In some places, these are the ushers – and I have found that in a few parishes these are almost exclusively men. But give it a try. You will start to recognize others and be recognized by them too. And that is the beginning.If you have kids or a somewhat reluctant spouse or friend in tow who don’t really want to go to Mass early, consider some sort of involvement outside of Mass times. Many parishes have a wide variety of groups for spiritual growth, for ministry to others or just helping out at the parish grounds. My grandmother was a member of the altar society at her parish in Santa Cruz as my grandfather had over 100 rose bushes (a retirement hobby) and they could be put to very good use at the church. There are classes too, some of which are occasional and others which may run for a few weeks. I have seen many “mom & me” groups at churches too. Find at least one group, class, committee etc. and dive in!
One of the best ways to feel loved is to be loving. So too with parish communities – spiritual leaders are sometimes drafted, but more often step up, on their own, to do a job that needs doing. Want to feel welcome? Find a role where you can provide that to others. You’ll be surprised at how fast you will feel as though you belong.
Have a great parish where you felt really welcomed? Or a success story of making newcomers feel at home fast? I’d love to hear the stories here!
by Mary Pope-Handy | Dec 8, 2011 | Events, Parish Life
The Cathedral Basilica of Saint Joseph, the seat of the Diocese of San Jose, hosts an annual free musical concert series, “The Season of Hope”, each year in the church. The December 2011 schedule begins on Dec. 12th and runs nightly through the 23rd with performances from 7:30pm to 8:30pm. Each year, different groups and individuals are showcased, so there’s lots of variety.
Find the entire lineup with details and some links on the parish website:
http://www.stjosephcathedral.org/Home/Events/SeasonofHope/tabid/90/Default.aspx
by Mary Pope-Handy | Jul 30, 2011 | Local Church History, Parish Life
As one consequence of the ongoing shortage of priests, we are seeing the emergency of more lay leadership at the parish level. When the role of pastor cannot be held by a priest, the job title is changed to “Minster of Parish Life” and may be filled by a lay person, male or female, a deacon or member of a religious order . We are certain to see this as an increasing trend while the continuing decline in numbers of priests (both religious and diocesan) continues. (Another consequence is increased use of priests from abroad.)
In late July, the newest Minister of Parish life was appointed: Dorothy Carlson, who will serve in that role at St. Justin parish in Santa Clara. Read the full story on the Diocese of San Jose’s website.
by Mary Pope-Handy | Apr 19, 2011 | Parish Life
How do you get children to not just be quiet during Mass, but also to pay attention and listen? For infants and toddlers, that’s just not always possible, hence the ubiquitous “cry room”. For preschoolers there are often childcare provisions mixed with age appropriate religious education. But what about kids who are a little older, visiting and out of their regular routine or not in some sort of CCD class during Mass?
Catholic parents have a lot of tricks up their sleeves, some better than others. I’m not a fan of food in Mass and when parent utilize electronic devices it tends to go from bad to worse. One year at St. Mary’s in Los Gatos, we saw a boy about to receive his First Holy Communion play with a video game all through Mass. When it was time for him to walk up the aisle, his mother took it away. You think that maybe those parents were a little too lax? Yeah, me too….
What worked for us was a combination approach: (more…)
by Mary Pope-Handy | Apr 16, 2011 | Parish Life
If you are Catholic and moving to the San Jose – Silicon Valley area, you’re in luck and we hope you’ll feel right at home. We enjoy a very vibrant Catholic community here, with lots of parishes, Masses in a many languages and several Catholic rites, and of course tons of opportunity for involvement in spiritual and volunteer activities.
Find a church: You can find a list of Roman Catholic Parishes in the Diocese of San Jose (which covers Santa Clara County and is most of “Silicon Valley”) on the diocesan website:
http://www.dsj.org/about-us/parishes.
Find a Mass: About one-third of Silicon Valley happens to be Catholic (yes, that is a high percentage), and there are both a lot of churches and a lot of Masses. (I like to joke that when you’re Catholic here you have no excuse for missing Mass because there are a ton of opportunities, beginning late on Saturday afternoon, to attend.) Please check the diocese’s website for a list of parishes. From there, click on one near you (the map function is interactive!) and from there you can click on the parish link to see when Mass is offered.
What about Mass in another language? Finding Mass in languages other than English is not too hard in Silicon Valley. Here are the other languages, which you can find in the area:
- English
- all parishes except the Latin-only
Oratory of Our Mother of Perpetual Help Chapel
- Spanish
- Offered at 19 parishes in and near San Jose, including the Cathedral, Christ the King, Our Lady of Guadalupe, Our Lady of Peace, Our Lady Star of the Sea, Sacred Heart of Jesus, St. Athanasius, St. Catherine of Alexandria (Morgan Hill), St. Clare, St. Cyprian, St. Elizabeth, St. John Vianney, St. Joseph, St. Julie Billiart, St. Leo the Great, St. Maria Goretti, St. Mary’s (Gilroy), St. Patrick Proto-Cathedral, and St. Thomas Aquinas
- Vietnamese
- Offered at 6 parishes: Most Holy Trinity, St. Elizabeth’s, St. John the Baptist, St. Maria Goretti, St. Martin’s, St. Patrick’s
- Croatian
- St. Mary of the Assumption Croatian Mission
- Polish
- St. Brother Albert Chmielowski Polish Mission
- Portuguese
- Five Wounds Portuguese National Church
- St. Clare’s
- Latin
- Oratory of Our Mother of Perpetual Help Chapel
- Tagalog
- Korean
- Holy Korean Martyrs Parish
- Cantonese
- Mandarin
- Italian
(more…)